He’s not good enough for you. Cut him loose and find someone better. If he’s pushing forty and plays games in this manner than there’s something wrong there that you don’t want to spend your twenties trying to fix.

If there’s something there that you believe is worth saving, recruit your CIA-level girlfriends to track him down and all of his Facebook friends to get to the bottom of it.

He’s in my age group and his behavior sounds like if he isn’t married, there’s a human-size piece of baggage that he’s dealing with at his place. She’s not worth your time either.